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Self-Representation: Are You Doing a Good Job?

by Kim Ades

relaxReal estate professionals take their role in representing clients very seriously and go the distance, making sure listings are at the best price, making strategic offers and reviewing contracts and terms with a fine-toothed comb. Indeed, REALTORS® are well trained in the art of representing others.

Not only do real estate professionals represent their clients with focus and diligence, but they also do everything in their power to guarantee that clients are taken care of. They stay up into the wee hours to complete a deal. They entertain clients with food and beverage and drive them all over in a meticulously clean car. And they make themselves available 24-seven in the middle of a negotiation.

Indeed, REALTORS® are well trained in the art of representing others. The question is, how well equipped are they at representing themselves?

As a coach, one the most common conditions that I see is that of a talented high achiever who is exceedingly successful in her field of work. However, this super star struggles in one or two areas of life. It may be with a difficult coworker or unbalanced relationship at home, an overwhelming financial burden or a secret haunting them from the past. It may be a health problem or a dangerous level of stress. However, the common thread that often emerges is a struggle with self-representation.

What I often see is smart, driven individuals contorting and compromising to look good, do good, please others and hide their most shameful truths. They have no trouble standing up for others but have a horrible time representing themselves.

They often find themselves in situations where they feel forced to sacrifice their personal integrity, relationships, health and values to experience harmony and acceptance from the world around them. They lose their identity in the name of success and achievement.

Here are three basic principles to help these super-achievers move out of the mess they have created and into a state of greater peace:

1. Wanting control is a common theme. So, super-achievers must learn to take control of the two things in which they have ultimate control: their thinking and their emotions. I teach them to let go of everything else that is futile to even attempt to control.

2. Getting the best out of others requires mental discipline. You cannot get the best out of anyone when you are distracted by all of their weaknesses and flaws. I teach super-achievers to do mental calisthenics focusing on what’s good and right about others to extract the best from them.

3. There is no greater impact on your outcomes than the thoughts you choose. It’s hard to choose new thoughts when you are unaware of how your existing thoughts are impacting your current outcomes. I teach people who want to reach extraordinary goals about the power of journaling. Journaling enables you to see your thoughts and allows you to choose how you will think about any subject. When super-achievers journal daily, they experience positive shifts in their outcomes.

kimadesKim Ades is president and founder of Frame of Mind Coaching and JournalEngine Software. As an author, speaker, entrepreneur, coach and mother of five, Kim is an expert on coaching with a focus on mindset. For more information about Kim and her unique coaching approach, visit www.frameofmindcoaching.com.

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