Why Self-Care Isn’t Enough (and What Actually Helps You Reset Daily)

Member Contribution By Angela Turpin

As a Realtor, you deal with so much stress. Sometimes it’s the market and the economy. Sometimes the best laid plans fall apart. Sometimes it’s the clients. Sometimes it’s your home life. Sometimes it’s just one of those days!

With all that stress and so much dependence on you to perform, how is it possible to stay calm under these circumstances to get the best results? Then come home and still be happy and present.

If you are in a constant state of stress, the bubble baths, trips to the nail salon, and glasses of wine aren’t going to be enough to help you relax, be present, and give your best to your clients and loved ones.

So, if self-care isn’t truly working for you, what can possibly help when you are short on time? Maybe even short on patience.

Let me explain.

The reason why you lose your patience so quickly or why it’s a struggle to be loving and understanding at home, has more to do with your unregulated nervous system than the amount of stress you might endure day to day.

Now, to make this as simple as possible and avoid all the jargon, you are in a constant state of fight or flight. This might look like getting angry quickly or reacting and regretting it later. This might look like getting a call you don’t want to answer and ignoring it for days.

Then when you get home, you probably go into autopilot to get ALL the things done (depending on your circumstances, of course), getting dinner done, helping the kids with bath, etc.

Then you might do the last-minute paperwork and updates. By the time you have “me” time, you immediately go into fawn and freeze, aka you’re totally shut down. All you really do is sit in front of the TV or scroll on your phone. Maybe even both. Honestly, why wouldn’t you? After constant days of this, it’s no wonder that you are in this cycle of never-ending stress.

So how can you fix running through these cycles of a dysregulated nervous system without adding more to your already full schedule?

There are so many things you can add to your day to help with nervous system regulation. However, this practice is something that you can do pretty much anywhere. It will put you into a calm and relaxed state. This will help you better perform with your clients; help you respond rather than react. Plus, it helps you feel present at home.

The technical term for this is physiological sigh. This is how it works.

1. You take a deep breath in through your nose.
2. Take a sip of air at the top of that breath.
3. Let it out through your mouth.
4. Repeat- until you feel calmer and more relaxed. (Usually takes about 3 breath cycles.)

This breathing practice takes your heightened or shut-down nervous system and regulates it, so you’re adaptable, ready to handle any stress that might come your way, and helps you be more present while you are home.

You can repeat this as many times as you need to. You can also use this as many times as you need throughout the day. It’s simple, quick, and it works.

It helps you release stress so you can have a happy work and home life!

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About the Contributor

Angela Turpin (CA) is a trauma-informed coach, published author, and survivor dedicated to empowering women to heal from sexual abuse and reclaim their power. With a Master’s in Transpersonal Psychology and multiple certifications, including Trauma-Informed Coaching, NLP, and Hypnosis, Angela combines professional expertise with personal experience to guide women through transformative healing. As the host of the Community Made podcast and founder of Transform with Angela, her mission is to help all women heal from sexual abuse and thrive in life and business by transforming limiting stories and stepping into their full potential.

Social Media: @transformwithangela

Angela Turpin is an Affiliate Member and on the Board for Greater Fresno